Well, we heard back from our NVR person today. After reading about some others' less-than-fantastic experiences with NVR reps, I feel very lucky. He was responsive and extremely helpful. He even put together multiple cost estimate sheets so we could see what would happen to our monthly payment if we cut some of our selections.
After some serious budgeting at home tonight, we realized that we don't need to cut anything -- hooray! Well, not from the house. We do need to start eating out a lot less. And that might be better for the waistline and the wallet.
That's not to say there weren't things that never made it into the selections in the first place. If I had unlimited funds, we would be getting the fancy oak stairs, hardwood on the whole first floor and I would somehow convince RH to do a full front porch on this elevation (talk about a non-standard option). But all-in-all it's pretty darn close to my dream house.